The Forgotten Father: Coping with Grief was written by Gary Roen, a Nationally Syndicated Book Critic and Author. I interviewed Roen recently and learned how he works with authors for his book reviews. Becoming interested in his books, I read as many as I could. The Forgotten Father tugged at my heartstrings. He wrote this book many years after his infant son died of SIDS. No one asked him how he was doing or feeling. This still happens to fathers now, as described in this First Candle blog post. Men tell Roen of their struggles being left out of emotional support as most of it is centered around women.
*Note: This blog post is not intended to provide medical information. Whatever your beliefs about SIDS, please understand this is a book review. The Mayo Clinic has SIDS information for those interested.
The Forgotten Father is a work of poetry. The format helped me deal with the topic, as it was so beautifully written. He writes:
“all who saw him
felt he was
one of God’s
miracles too good to be true”
At the time, Roen thought the health care professionals were uncaring. He has since learned they care but don’t convey their thoughts and feelings. Roen was given just a few days off from work, while his wife was able to take longer. Everyone asked him how his wife was doing. He would have appreciated hearing some kind comments directed towards him, too. Years later, his grief has not left, and he remembers his son daily.
“The Forgotten Father” is a soft, subtle, on target rendering of grief that calls up the image of the ocean in the way it flows along. The writings exude love and understanding of a new cycle of life after a parent suffers the loss of a child. This will resonate with any parent after the death of their child.” Mark Rambis member of Compassionate Friends Organization and, a bereaved Father of his son Tony
The cause of sudden infant death syndrome is significant to parents. However, there is simply no explanation for SUDI. That makes for a challenging situation. We all want to understand the reasons for events that happen. Without a logical justification, emotions run high. Women are the focus of attention and support. Men are supposed to be strong and silent. Yet, don’t we all realize men have feelings, too? We should recognize the fact fathers experience grief and help them through such times. The Forgotten Father is a step towards a kinder society.
Gary Roen’s books can be found at these retailers
Books a Million
Barnes and Noble
*Note: As usual, I buy my own books and purchased Mr. Roen’s on Amazon and on Barnes and Noble.